Comforting the Comforter with Essential Oils

Looking in the rear view at my 7-year-old son, he sat in his car seat staring out the window. His grandpa had just died two weeks ago, and he had something to say about life and death. “Don’t you know, Mom, it’s so much easier to die than it is to be born.” Startled, I said, “Oh really, why is that?” As my tears began to fall, he said, “Yep, it hurts your head and your body to be born because you have to come through bones. But when you die you just float out of your body from the top of your head and it feels fluffy and doesn’t hurt like being born.” After stopping for a red light, our eyes locked and I smiled at my son and said, “thank you.”

“We are born of love, love is our mother.” -Rumi

The devoted Mother archetype teaches me to be a comforting, caring, protective presence in my son’s life and even my own life. I hold and ponder the hugs, events, and conversations that touch my heart. The Mother archetype can mean many things to people depending upon their experiences. Those who have or have had neglectful, absent, or sick mothers can learn to tap into alternate choices to comfort and mother themselves. You don’t have to be a physical mother to have this Mother archetype. Nurturing a garden, cooking meals, mothering nieces and nephews, giving birth to ideas, and creating books or art truly fit the definition of the Mother archetype. The devoted Mother offers comfort and understanding and is at the same time very human, struggling with life at times.

When you need to comfort the Mother archetype in yourself, the unique properties in essential oils can assist with self-care and self-nurturing. If you are a giver and a protector of life in your home, community and workplace, it can be a challenge to save some energy for yourself during the day. Inhaling or applying a diluted essential oil or an essential oil blend is a quick way to turn that gift of comfort back toward yourself.

Essential oils that support and comfort include German Chamomile, Lavender, Rose Absolute, Geranium, Clary Sage, Neroli, and Myrtle. These oils and their unique personalities lend themselves to offering immediate connections to ease frustrations and discomfort. German Chamomile is one of my top choices for mothering the soul. Smelling this essential oil can ease tensions, help with difficulty sleeping and soothe indigestion. This oil blends well with Lavender and Clary Sage. This blend can transport you to memories of a warm cozy kitchen, giving you that deep hug inside your soul. Your muscles relax, and a sense of motherly protection and self-care can be yours. Lavender is said to be the mother of all essential oils, and Clary sage is noted for assisting women in labor coping with the contractions of birthing.

The nurturing, comforting and unconditional love of a caring mother can be a blessing for others. But always remember, self-care is not selfish, it is a necessity. Mothering ourselves with essential oils is an important practice of self-love, enabling us to care for others in a balanced, healthy way.

Every midwife knows
that not until a mother’s womb
softens from the pain of labor
will a way unfold
and the infant find that opening to be born.
Oh friend!
There is treasure in your heart,
it is heavy with child.
All the awakened ones,
like trusted midwives are saying,
‘welcome this pain.
It opens the dark passage of Grace.


Adib-Haibagher, M. & Mousavi, SN, (2017). The effects of chamomile on sleep quality among elderly people: A clinical trial. Complementary and Therapeutic Medicine Journal, Vol 35, p. 109-114.Epub 2017 October 13.

Myss, Caroline, (2003). Sacred Contracts; Awakening your Divine Potential, Harmony Publisher: New York.

Battaglia, Salvatore, (2002) 2ed. The Complete Guide to Aromatherapy, The International Centre of Holistic Aromatherapy; Australia.

Lee, KB, Cho, E., & Kang, Y.S. (2014). Changes in 5-hydroxytrytamine and cortisol plasma levels in menopausal women after inhalation of clary sage oil. The Journal of Phytotherapy Research; 28 (11), 1599-605. Epub 2014, May 7.

Hassanzadeh, M, Kaini, F., Bouya, S., & Zarei, M. (2018). Comparing the effects of relaxation technique and inhalation aromatherapy on fatigue in patients undergoing hemodialysis. Complementary Therapies in Clinical Practice, May 31; 210-214. Epub 2018 Mar 6.

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